I’m with the Band!
fShare
0
Pin It

Be a rock star, or just smell like one!

Hot damn, it looks like the band may be re-forming, so I’ve hauled out my bass. Gonna learn how to play it, this time for sure. 

I’ll need a drummer, though. Can’t practice ‘til then. You see, all these years now of passing myself off as a minor celeb, just to get into parties for free drinks and quick liaisons with bimbo girls, has paid off handsomely. I’ve even been invited to play on-stage before 40,000, but my index finger is always broken and bandaged. 

You too can live a life of rock’n’roll, just know that the trick to being taken for a rocker, is to smell like one; the first thing you should do is alter your bathing habits. I don’t mean you should develop a complete disregard for hygiene, you just might want to cut back on the frequency with which you wash your hair. And make sure to only wear old second hand clothing, the weirder the better.

You’ll need a band name. Its not a good idea to pretend to be a member of a Swedish Transvestite Heavy Metal Band. Go for something realistic. I came up with mine in freshman year when a friend and I were discussing cool band names, and were both taking CS61A at the time, and there in a footnote of the textbook was the answer… Mutual Exclusion! 

Just know that the coolest rock band is someone nobody has heard of and is on a label that doesn’t even exist yet. Your Band! Also, learn a little rock history, someone is going to eventually talk to you and expect you to talk back; and if you say something like, "Justin Timberlake is really cool," you are liable to get the dimsum kicked out of you.

And that would be really embarrassing because the rock world is populated largely by wussies. If anybody mentions a band you don’t know, just say "Yeah, but their old stuff is better."

To get in concerts free, always get to the venue a little bit earlier and you can easily get in for free. Develop a I’m-gloomy-and-I-live-a-hopeless-existence, mood. People will be less likely to stop you at the door. Always carry a copy of some old rock mag, or a guitar pic. Chat the girls up, but avoid girlfriends.

And look in the mirror, and practice "I’m with the band!"

The Trial of Henry Kissinger by Christopher Hitche...
Alexander Zaitchik The Trial of Henry Kissinger by Christopher Hitchens

Human rights abuses overseen and committed by a superpower’s agents are ignored while those do [ ... ]

Snowboarding; Getting Started
Andrew Ching Snowboarding; Getting Started

Ahoy, the winter is upon us and already it is expected to bless us with luscious condition [ ... ]

On the home front: Finding an apartment in Prague
Luke Salkeld Finding an apartment in Prague

Cheerful little Kafka once described Prague as having claws, and if this is true, they certainly hav [ ... ]

To Exist is to RESIST!
J. Krishnamurti To Exist is to RESIST!

If your desire to do something is complete, if your whole being is in it without seeking a result, w [ ... ]

The Conspiracy: How it all fits together - The Sim...
Karl Rotstan The Conspiracy is real

Learn a little about the conspiracy that rules over us all...

A day at the beach
Jeffree Benet

Carol and I are at the beach, naked on an Independence Day around 1:30 PM and the sand is full of su [ ... ]

Whether a King or a Street Sweeper, We All Have to...
Kristian Cohler Olšanské hřbitovy - the Olsany cemeteries

The language of the dead is whispered in serene inner voices. Find the face you could love - greet [ ... ]

Are you a man or a woman?
Authors Unknown women vs men

A humorous look at the differences between men and women...

Read more...

Name Day/Svatek

Yesterday : Vojtěch Today : Jiří Tomorrow : Marek After tomorrow : Oto

Our Mission

1. To make you think
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you.
2. To tell the world the truth
When you only tell the truth, you start earning trust, as journalists, our mission is to tell the truth.
3. To make you laugh
We want to make you laugh, chuckle, smirk, grin or smile as we try to find the upside of life in the face of all the evil around us.

All cheap e liquid have fancy packagings.The quality of cheap e liquid is a concern,so it's important to choose reputable,UK made cheap e liquid.UK vape online bring lots of the cheap e liquid suppliers,all cheap e liquid is safe,made in UK.Wholesale cheap e liquid .UK vape online bring lots of the cheap e liquid suppliers,all cheap e liquid suppliers can offer outstanding flavors cheap e liquid.Starting at just $0.99, the flavours of cheap e liquid have fruits,desserts,and candy.Famous cheap e liquid wholesale.

The Power Flex yoga pant from 90 Degree by Reflex is the ideal combination of fashion, function, and performance. Our fabric is designed to contour perfectly to your body, giving you a streamlined look. We've created the perfect fabric at the perfect https://www.amazon.com/90-Degree-Reflex-Womens-Power/dp/B00IDHFYVM These Power Flex Pants are perfect for yoga, pilates, running, or any type of exercise or fitness-related activities. You can also go from the gym to running errands - all while being comfortable and stylish. Pairs well with our famous Power Flex Tan.

Bola24 adalah agen bola sbobet indonesia terpercaya