Dr. Mellow's Guide To Women

Women, by nature, are evil. It is only when we understand this simple concept that men can ever hope to understand women.


Burn, baby, burn!
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Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or nation, or so said Oscar Wilde, and it applies so poignantly to our situation today.

Decades after the fall of State Controlled Economics (State Controlled Everything Else still exists, everywhere), and as the American Republic teeters under the weight of one orange-skinned man's ego, promising to build more oppresive walls, the walls within our minds still stand strong, blinding us to the freedoms which we really have, and really always had.

Ah, but those who misread, who can't see freedom for what it is, wonder what freedom really means; instant credit?

Ah, more freedom is on its way. Just sign here on the dotted line.

Many people are wondering out loud, taking wagers even, on the chances of the EUremaining intact as they are squezzed from the American and Russian anti-statists; the odds are against it; not geographically; not historically; but culturally and soulfully.

For freedom doesn't mean free.

Freedom is very costly, for it means awareness of one's actions, of the results and the consequences; it means responsibility. It doesn't mean f*ck over everybody else, or 'me first'. It doesn't mean cultivate friendships until you can spend them, it means you are now free to be the best you that you can be. 

Well, it's time to get into th spirit of the modern zeitgeist. I recommend watching more TV, obeying every advertisement (on purpose or not), and joining aimless throngs of thousands of people for no real good reason and spending all the money you don't have on stuff people won't use - except as second hand gifts for next year.

Think fond thoughts of your family far away and enjoy your leftover carp.

Now in the clearnance sales: gold, frankincense and myrrh. 

What to do as the yaer gets under way besides place your bets, cynicism vs. idealism?

Wasn't it somebody's birthday recently? What was his name again? Consume? Consume... that's right, good boy. Isn't there a football game on? I particularly enjoy the commercials. Trained professionals who know me well, convincing me to spend more of my proverbial wealth. 

Cynicism 1, Idealism 0. The fans go wild. Don't get me wrong, I love football.

Remember the story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed? Well, Jed's dead, baby, Jed's dead. Don't mourn - I'm sure he died peacefully of natural causes. The best thing to do is distract yourself somehow - occupy your cursory free time with some good ol' fashioned fantasy. Ambition. Creativity. More TV. Believe the Hype. OK, never mind, just shoot me.

Cynicism 2, Idealism 0.

What exactly is this idealism thing anyway? God forbid if we don't lie, or cheat, or steal, how could we stay on our toes without these qualities? (not yours, of course!).

It's like social ballet, enjoy the show, but watch your purse. Be careful not to philosophize with strangers, they'll only predict the apocalyptic Fires of God or something like that. Well, I say, let it come and burn off these assholes so we can have our party in Peace. Stranger things have happened, you know?

Cynicism 2, Idealism 1. The game is young, have a great year!

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