Just another pig on the go?

Just another pig on the go?
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THE CONSPIRACY OF NORMALS™, INC. In association with THE CLUB WIRED CABAL AND COMPANY INC. STATEMENT OF PURPOSE (UN-CLASSIFIED VERSION)

The Conspiracy of Normals, Inc.™ (henceforth, "The Conspiracy™") has operated for many years as an international conspiracy which controls world affairs. We have existed for centuries, under various names, as an international, and later interplanetary, organisation.

We now operate primarily under the name of The Conspiracy of Normals™, Inc. Through new technology we have recently become inter dimensional in our scope.

Put simply: We run your life. 
Free will is a carefully-constructed illusion.

We are THE conspiracy. Such well-known conspiracies as the "illuminati" and various JFK-murder conspiracy theories are bunk; all have been created by The Conspiracy™ as smoke screens, to discredit the very idea of a world-spanning conspiracy by making believers appear mentally unstable. We are in some ways like the illuminati, except that we actually exist, and succeed in our efforts.

We operate in all facets of modern life. 

Overt action is generally not necessary to achieve our goals, as most of modern society is more than willing to comply with our mass-media propaganda and consumerist ideologies. It has been observed that, in a perfect police state, police action becomes unnecessary. It is thus with The Conspiracy™: 

We have injected our memes into world cultures for so long, with so much success, that at this point overt acts are completely unneeded. 

democracy was getting old anywaydemocracy was getting old anywaySeduced by pretty images on the television, over 99% of the population is only too happy to comply. Consequently we are able to control the minds of the population as easily as we might control a bovine with a ring in its nose. With humans, the ring has been in the nose for so long that the scars have healed, and it no longer hurts when we give the ring a mighty pull. 

People follow us because they feel "safe" doing so. In truth, they are safe - as safe as a fish in a restaurant tank, waiting to be plucked. All it takes is a sexy image, or the promise of a new mall-sold trinket, and any rebellion capitulates.

Ours is not the heavy-handed totalitarianism of Orwell's 1984, but rather the seductive, pleasant totalitarianism of Huxley's Brave New World. Indeed, modern society goes far beyond tolerating our control; today's citizen clamours for our control, happily herded in whatever direction suits our needs.

Free will is an illusion, and not a convincing one at that. Citizens, or "dupes" as we like to call them, believe that they are independent. But this is only because we have instructed them to think this, through both overt and covert media operations.

The reason is obvious: the more a dupe is convinced of their autonomy, and the more convinced they are that all decisions are their own, then the more fully they can be controlled. Our primary operations, at the end of the twentieth century, focus on mass media and the emerging on-line culture. 

The reason is simple: Mass media defines society, and provides the most potent and effective means of meme distribution ever devised. Thus it is natural that we should produce both "programs" and "advertisements" for television, and make similar efforts in other media. 

The increasing blur between "program" and "ad" is intentional. Eventually the distinction will disappear entirely. Our interest in "the net" is based on the fact that this new medium allows the possibility of personalised, tailored methods of control and subjugation.

Soon nearly everyone will be connected to a fully interactive "information superhighway", which will greatly facilitate the monitoring and re-education of troublemakers. The myth of "individualism" and "free thought" will not only continue in this new medium, but will actually be reinforced. 

By allowing a modicum of control over the medium, the dupe feels even more fully "in control" while actively seeking out ever-more-seductive mind control. Business as usual, for The Conspiracy™.

The Conspiracy™: It's a state of mind.


JUST ANOTHER PIG?

No! The Conspiracy dupe is a superior grade of pig! They have been painstakingly trained to consume far more than they will ever need. As a result they "go the extra mile" in helping the Conspiracy achieve its goals!

The well-fattened Conspiracy pig has one concern in life: to consume more, more, more, of the constant stream of slop produced by mass-entertainment and consumer-goods companies! Independent thought is abandoned in favor of mind-numbing television and unending shopping binges!

And there's more: since they spend so much time sitting, fat, dumb, and happy, watching television, credit cards close at hand, they make very easy targets for Conspiracy Mind Bombs.

The Conspiracy of Normals Pig: Fatter than your average pig.

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_ The Economist

Our Mission

1. To make you think
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you.
2. To tell the world the truth
When you only tell the truth, you start earning trust, as journalists, our mission is to tell the truth.
3. To make you laugh
We want to make you laugh, chuckle, smirk, grin or smile as we try to find the upside of life in the face of all the evil around us.
 

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