Over the years, we had a little fun taking pokes at the Grand Dame of English Media in Prague, The Prague Post...
Which is kind of ironic, because I was hired years later to transition them from a print business into a fully digital publisher that finally made enough revenues to pay off their tax debts in order to file for insolvency. It took three years, but they finally were able to throw in the towel, and now The Prague Post lives on as a shadow of its former self, owned by a publisher in Turkey.
So here you go, the Top 10 Uses for The Prague Post
1. THEFT DEVICE:"You can use it to steal other magazines with. What you do is, go to those kiosk on the square, you know, where they wouldn't even help you if you were dying, and their dirty windows are all blacked out so they can only see you through a little hole (this guy really thought this out.-ed.) "Well, while in line stick in something good and more expensive, like Hustler."
2. SHOE LINING: "I flip through it. It's in English." Do you ever use it for anything else? "Well, its thin enough for lining the bottoms of my Docs.
3. SELF-DEFENSE: "Well, you couldn't really hurt anyone if you hit them with it. Alan Levy's column might scare them off, 'tho."
4. ARGUMENT AGAINST DRUGS: "I think the comics are pretty stupid. Like maybe this is how you draw after taking drugs or something."
5. CULTURAL EVENTS: "You can use it to find out which events to miss. I mean, 'the Philharmonic for New Year's eve'?!"
6. THE LOCAL PULSE: "The seasonal supplement? …uhhh…"
7. JOURNALISTIC ACCOLADES: "Impartial and independent? Re: lobotomized and vegetative. Did you see some of the covers of Night & Day? 'The Magic of Weaving!" and 'Stalking the Wild Stork?' When asked if he had ever read The Prague Post, this respondent replied, "No."
8. THE ENVIRONMENT: "It's good for cleaning windows."
9. WORLD EVENTS: "It's good for finding out what's happening in Bratislava. It's like last week's news, today!"
10. GOOD ART: "The new color sections makes nice paper mache, a nice repetitive decorative motif."
And as a bonus, here's a cheeky little poke we did, a mock-up of them that is worthy of reading simply for the "Alister (Alan) Levy on Alister Levy" profile...
First time we got a mention in The Prague Post!
We Are The Champions!
We don't usually like to boast, but theThink Sponsored basketball team won the ISL League Championships over Erste Bank, so now, finally, The Prague Post will have to mention our name in their newspaper after three years of completely ignoring us.
Now if they want to keep us out of it, they're gonna have to form their own f*ckin' squad!