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Behind the curtains of relationships big and small, the rumors are often true, but the embellishments and details are generally wrong...

And the stories do have origins, often close to home. It's virtually impossible to be cool to all the people all the time because then you would be fabulous, which we all know, means people without souls.

So enjoy those that hate you because you are aloof, which means scared, and which makes people suspicious, or because they envy what you have, which means folks have an exaggerated idea of what you have.

Clearly envy helps you tune into the idea that you only have one life to live and helps ground you, and push you forward to live your dreams. The villagers will always turn on their heroes, so it is important to be a dick or b*tch to just enough to people to maintain intrigue. And if you do something horrible, make sure to laugh at yourself alot, other peoples' self-righteousness can never be underestimated.

In no case should you become born again, nothing is more hopelessly cloying and pariahish as a believer, although making a show of quitting common vices like drinking and cocaine may prove to regenerate interest in your babble, at least temporarily; it provides an excuse.

Defer blame at lightspeeds, but humbly show understanding to those who are obviously doing the same. In fact, act humble at all times, and even try to cultivate some pseudo care about acquaintances (remember a few basic pieces of information with which to carry banter). But let enemies remain enemies, and maintain your soul.

Do not try to stand out, again, humility keeps you underground, and limits the damage of being hopelessly loaded in public places on occasion. Screw somebody over at least once, that way your piety won't be regarded as condescending and others will be drawn to you since you will now be referred to as 'clever', an archaic British word that has morphed from meaning intelligent, to something that is between cunning and opportunistic.

In any event, it will convince people that you have balls, or are reckless enough for them to tell you their inane schemes, a couple of which may be lifted in their entirety, which will further enhance your rep ad infinitum.

Have a steady relationship, but chum around as if you are always hunting, successful, etc., which means that anything remotely indicating that you may be experiencing the L word will put you off of plenty of guest lists, and perhaps launch you into the purgatory known as The Couples.

That said, a disillusionment-filled long-long-term lover, in which to moan about, should bring you back into solid standing. It may behoove you to try to accept Euro house and perhaps even trance music into your cranial cavity as legitimate entertainment. 

Assist the DJ in his attempt to make sense out of the chaotic universe of sound emanating through the ether of computer geek's bedrooms, by trashing as many brain cells as possible, for as long as possible while still being able to smile and complete sentences.

Burn out quick, all in one night; nothing is sadder and more pity-inducing than a slow, slurring, descent into the corridors of paranoia, usually borne out by the genuine concern of sum and total disdain of others.

Probably the most important thing is that, at the height of your popularity of course, to convince your flock that you have the best interests of the scene at heart (unity, put Prague on the map, etc.) as you rip off everyone you can get over on and bury all the money you've made, typically by selling the kids things to help them assist the DJ, by killing brain cells and cultivating degenerating addictions, in a bank account, and to support your drug habit, which you try so hard to hide, lest you look down into the mirror and think about what they think about you, as you start to get paranoid. 

Sucka Nigga.

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