YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ >>
Notes From Prague Six: Sqquuuuaak! Has everyone heard the rumor about the chain formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken? ...

1999 Darwin Award Winners!
fShare
0
Pin It

How about a flashback to some pre-millennial insanity, as nobody did crazy like they did in the old days before Bush II... This mandatory annual dose of morbid humor was always the moment we'd been waiting for... so Read, Enjoy, and Pray that you aren't related to any of these people, as it's the 1999 Darwin Awards!

For those sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards, these awards are given annually (and posthumously) to those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool by removing themselves from it.

DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP:
#1 - LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple, an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite.

They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani.

Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital. While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation en-route to the hospital.

#2 - Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol (instead of the more traditional revolver) to Ken's head and fired.

#3 - PHILLIPSBURG, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male choked to death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer at a local establishment. "I didn't think he was going to eat it," the dancer identified only as "Ginger" said, adding "He was really drunk."

#4 - MOSCOW, Russia- A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bulletproof vest to see if it would protect him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound. (It's good to see the Russians getting into the spirit of the Darwin Awards.)

#5 - In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes.

He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.

#6 - RENTON, WASHINGTON, USA. A Renton, Washington man tried to commit a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:

1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms... a gun shop.

2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places.

3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.

And the '99 DARWIN AWARD WINNER is..

Canadian Telephone relay company night watchman Edward Baker, 31, was killed early Christmas morning by excessive microwave radiation exposure. He was apparently attempting to keep warm next to a telecommunications feed-horn.

Baker had been suspended on a safety violation once last year, according to Northern Manitoba Signal Relay spokesperson Tanya Cooke. She noted that Baker's earlier infraction was for defeating a safety shut-off switch and entering a restricted maintenance catwalk in order to stand in front of the microwave dish.

He had told coworkers that it was the only way he could stay warm during his twelve-hour shift at the station, where winter temperatures often dip to forty below zero. Microwaves can heat water molecules within human tissue in the same way that they heat food in microwave ovens.

For his Christmas shift, Baker reportedly brought a twelve pack of beer and a plastic lawn chair, which he positioned directly in line with the strongest microwave beam.

Baker had not been told about a tenfold boost in microwave power planned that night to handle the anticipated increase in holiday long-distance calling traffic. Baker's body was discovered by the daytime watchman, John Burns, who was greeted by an odor he mistook for a Christmas roast he thought Baker must have prepared as a surprise. Burns also reported to NMSR company officials that Baker's unfinished beers had exploded.

Path to the end of the world?
Jeffree Benet

I keep waiting for the fabric of reality to peel like an over-ripe tomato; like that moment on LSD w [ ... ]

A Political Philosophy Advocating Personal Freedom
Jeffree Benet You're a liberal

The other day at that new cafe in the center of Prague, I ran into an old friend of mine,  [ ... ]

A day at the beach
Jeffree Benet

Carol and I are at the beach, naked on an Independence Day around 1:30 PM and the sand is full of su [ ... ]

The Soul of Dlouha: 9 Years of Roxy
Alexander Zaitchik

Roxy has changed a lot since it first opened its doors in 1992.

NASA Mooned America: Did man Ever land on the Moon...
Karl Rotstan NASA Mooned America: Did man Ever land on the Moon?

Did man really walk on the Moon or was it the ultimate camera trick, asks David Milne?

Visiting Prague? Some tips for tourists...
Katerina Barton A street car named Desire  © Daran Kandasamy (CC)

Learning a few dos and don'ts can improve your stay in Prague

Follow your dreams: Adriaan Nijen Twilhaar
Jeffree Benet Adriaan Nijen Twilhaar

Just one day before the Minister Mentor gave a great speech on how Singapore has to seek new ways ( [ ... ]

The Fires Around Us - humanifesto 47
Keith Kirchner

Fire is as much a part of nature as rain or wind. Life on Earth has evolved in its presence.

Read more...

Name Day/Svatek

Yesterday : Lukáš Today : Michaela Tomorrow : Vendelín After tomorrow : Brigita

Our Mission

1. To make you think
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you.
2. To tell the world the truth
When you only tell the truth, you start earning trust, as journalists, our mission is to tell the truth.
3. To make you laugh
We want to make you laugh, chuckle, smirk, grin or smile as we try to find the upside of life in the face of all the evil around us.

The Power Flex yoga pant from 90 Degree by Reflex is the ideal combination of fashion, function, and performance. Our fabric is designed to contour perfectly to your body, giving you a streamlined look. We've created the perfect fabric at the perfect https://www.amazon.com/90-Degree-Reflex-Womens-Power/dp/B00IDHFYVM These Power Flex Pants are perfect for yoga, pilates, running, or any type of exercise or fitness-related activities. You can also go from the gym to running errands - all while being comfortable and stylish. Pairs well with our famous Power Flex Tan.

Situs bandarq indoqq dan aduq online terbaik di Indonesia

Tüvtürk randevu alma telefonla araç muayene randevusu almak için online hizmet tüvtürk araç muayene randevu istanbul ankara bursa izmir antalya telefonla randevu online web sitesi üzerinden başvuru yapınız Tüvtürk araç muayene randevu aldıktan sonra veya katma değerli 0888 233 0666 servis numaramızı dilediğiniz saatte çevirip çağrı

Taller Movil is a manufacturer of innovative van racking and aldder rack fully customised and made of anodised aluminium profiles which give them strong mechanical resistence plus light weight, give a look there http://tallermovil.org. Given that Taller Movil has planned to expand abroad starting from the USA where is opening a new facility in the state of Delaware because of its position on the Atalantic Ocean close to Florence port and the main market o the North East.

let's think for a while as to why love is important in a relationship. By reading these Love Qoutes you will be overly inspired to be more active, open and expressive about your feeling and showing someone how much your truly feel about them.

Improve your online visibility and generate more revenues thanks to Inspira SEO services in Bangkok, Thailand. Inspira SEO company offers professional and results oriented services.