Ahh, love, amor, laska, call it what you want...
So you've met someone, you've had sex, you've introduced them to your friends, you're sharing a toothbrush cup but before you get in too deep, before you start to pay the rent, take this simple test to find out whether your girlfriend is a psycho.
1. You first met her:
a. In your brother's bed
b. At work
c. Outside your flat, even though neither her nor her friends live anywhere near you
2. Telling her you are having a night out with the guys is usually met with:
a. Complaints and sometimes tears
b. A night out with the girls
c. A kitchen knife and a trip to the hospital
3. If you were caught cheating on her, she would most likely:
a. Break up with you
b. Saw your bed in half
c. Deficate on your chest while you are sleeping
4. To prove she loves you she:
a. Sends you a card with a puppy on it that says "I love You!"
b. After a year, she actually introduces you as her boyfriend
c. Gets your name branded on her ass
5. When your girlfriend thinks kinky she thinks:
a. Victorias Secret
c. Long incisions with a razor blade
6. One of the reasons you are still together is:
a. Your bank account is in her name
b. You seem to understand one another
c. You have no choice, you fear what she will do to you if you end it
7. When you go on vacation she:
a. Sleeps with your best friend
b. Watches as many chick flicks as possible
c. Befriends your 70 y.o. landlady, convinces her you are too old to live alone, has the landlady help her move your belongings to her place, and tells you at the airport that you won't be needing your keys anymore.
8.When her friends met you they said:
a. "Good luck"
b. "I guess there is somebody for everyone"
c. "Run for your life."
9.You often refer to her as:
a. The enemy
b. Your girlfriend
c. That crazy bitch that your getting the restraining order on
10.Her pet name for you is closest to:
c. Dead man walking
11. She deals with stress by:
a. A healthy addiction to drugs and alcohol
b. Crying and screaming
c. Weilding sharp objects
12. She telephones you:
a. Never, you always call her
b. Once or twice a day depending on your plans
c. Every 15 minutes
13. A typical night out together:
a. Ends at dawn
b. Is an activity with friends
c. Involves a fight
QUIZ ANSWERS, Scoring:
1 point for every a
2 points for every b
3 points for every c
1-13 Maybe not Mrs. Right, but suitable for a Ms. Right Now.
She may be more interested in what you can do for her, than in a mutually respectful relationship. She is likely to cheat on you but this should not come as any surprise. Keep her away from your money, if you have any, she'll spend it as fast as you supply it. If you do end up marrying this type, beware, after the wedding your all night love making will turn into sex only for procreation.
14-27 Good material but like all women prone to bouts of insanity.
You should be able to talk about any problems that arise and through a series of compromise create a stable relationship. A keeper.
28-39 Your girlfriend is a complete psycho and instead of helping her you may only be bringing out the beast within.
Get out of there quick. Leave the country before she floods your apartment and cuts your dick off.